The word authentic has been buzzing around for a while and while most use this in their marketing and taglines to tell people, I think it’s just as important to demonstrate being authentic with the boldness and brevity that lights up your soul. It has taken me years to really understand for myself the meaning behind this word, and now I practice it every day. Being authentic is the way to stand out. It’s the path that you take if you want to see the world as a place for creativity, and collaboration. 

There’s no room for competition when authenticity is a top value. Consider that if you are being truly authentic, that is you are being true to your values, your strengths, and your mission, there is NO competition. There’s only one you unless you are a twin… but even then, you are still not an exact replica of each other. You are each unique. “What we know matters but who we are matters more.” – Brené Brown

Authenticity takes awareness and choosing consciousness over passivity, which is something that I work on every day. I hold the line for myself by setting boundaries. I practice letting go of the judgment, criticism, or differences of others. I practice choosing to accept all no matter their beliefs, thoughts, ideas, or lifestyles. I practice bringing into my life the people who motivate me and take me closer to my authentic self. This shows up in the clients I work with, the way I run my business, the vision I have for my life, and the change I want to see in the world. You may have a similar vision for your life. Write it down, and think about what it is to know you, and how you show up in your life, business, and relationships. 

The biggest lesson I’ve learned this year is that I need to listen to my own voice, who I am, and what I need. There have been many times this year that I listened to the guidance of others, ignoring my own red flags about the direction, path, or next best step for ME and doing “what I think that others need me to do” to be successful. It is easy to say “follow your gut” and another thing to actually do that. Since being through trauma for 2 years, living in an unsafe environment that I finally pulled myself out of, I realized this year that I lost my self. I lost who I was and what made me unique. I listened to others this year because I didn’t know what to do. All I knew was that I wanted to not feel what I was feeling. 

I spent a lot of time checking boxes, doing the “right” things, and feeling miserable. Plus, I didn’t get the amount of clients, revenue, or income that I need to be able to reduce the stress. That’s the thing, when you are in a traumatic time, you are in “survival” mode. I am learning to practice (do the work) that I need to do for myself so that I can connect with myself again. That takes time, effort, and just doing it, even when you don’t want to.

There are many business people on social media and in my community whom I meet and they tell me about how they can help me. I have the freedom to share my story authentically on social media and in my community, and telling the truth about my challenges making a living as a new business owner is something that I no longer want to “hide”. When I felt like I “made it” last year, and started thinking about hiring a team, I was excited. Then the bottom fell out, and I needed to figure out different ways to get income. I didn’t make a lot of good business decisions last year with regards to money. That’s the truth. I don’t want to pretend that I’m making $6 figures with an online community, or that my clients do. That’s just not true. 

I feel a deep sense of conviction to tell the real story about community building, not from the perspective of “Hire me and I’ll make you lots of money” but from the perspective of what’s the real story, what is the REAL outcome. What does it REALLY take to build a community-led business? That’s where it gets messy, and no one likes messy, we like perfect. We like to hear the good stuff. The single biggest mistake I made this year in my business was letting someone tell me what I wanted to hear for 7 months. Then, when I asked that person, after training, giving my time, and paying money I didn’t actually have, I was told that they “didn’t want to” do something. Lesson Learned. I am now a TEAM OF ONE, so that I can live more authentically. I don’t report to anyone except myself. I have the ability to build my business and align it with my TRUE self. That’s not my “perfect” self. It’s the self that is Deb, a single woman with no children from Pennsylvania who struggles with mental health, and wants to create meaningful work that helps others. That has always been who I AM, but the world keeps telling me that I should be someone different. I’m done listening to the world, I’m ready to listen to myself FIRST, then learn, connect, and grow in community with others.