Understanding Your Tendency:
A Key to Achieving Success This Year.
As a new year begins, many people discuss resolutions, goals, intentions, or making some change in their lives. Likely, this is all you’ve heard this week.
This change is usually challenging to do on their own. Yet many continue to do the same things and expect different outcomes.
I recently listened to the Untangle podcast with Gretchen Rubin, the happiness expert. She shared some of her experiences writing her new book, Life in Five Senses: How Exploring the Senses Got Me Out of My Head and into the World.
During her interview, she described practices that brought her joy, delight, and depth. What I found interesting was the way she told her eating habits. For Gretchen, it is easier to abstain from sweets that she craved instead of trying to eat in moderation.
As someone who’s struggled with sweets and weight gain all of my life, I find it intriguing and have considered cutting out sweets as a way to find myself in a better head space.
She explained that in her research, she learned about four kinds of tendencies that people have and that knowing your own behaviors will help you keep the promises you make to yourself.
The four tendencies she explained are:
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Upholders want to know what should be done.
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Obligers need accountability.
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Questioners want justifications.
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Rebels want freedom to do something their own way.
If you want to know your tendencies, Gretchen has a quiz for you.
When she described obligors as often keeping promises to others but not to myself, that’s when I knew my tendency. As she describes, obligers regularly meet outer expectations but struggle to meet inner expectations. That means I put a high value on my commitment to others and leave myself behind.
This, in many ways, has led to my own challenges with weight, relationships, jobs, and friendships. It’s easier to be accountable when someone expects me to do something. And it’s easier to tell myself, “I’ll start tomorrow,” or “I don’t care…” but that’s when I need to ask for help… another hard thing for me to do.
One of my favorite quotes is by Helen Keller, and she says, “Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much.” It is one of the quotes I included in Creator to Community Builder (my new book) because I truly believe that community is the answer to our challenges.
Understanding Your Tendency:
A Key to Achieving Success This Year.
Community Builders need accountability, too
Most community leaders I know are helping others stay accountable but don’t have a great place to go for their own challenges. This past year has been extremely challenging for community builders to understand the value of investment in the community.
I have seen many with determination get stuck in some way, shape, or form and give up. But what do community builders do when they need accountability? Sometimes, they have friends or their own “tribe” to connect and tap into, but sometimes, they feel – like I do – that I’m unsure where to go to better understand how to build, launch, and grow an online community.
Because a community is a game changer for change, I want to bring together community builders to provide support, encouragement, and inspiration. This is why I’ve decided to continue to lead Community Builders with Purpose.
There is no greater need in this world than community builders. Unfortunately, the capitalist society we live in today doesn’t always monetarily value facilitators, guides, leaders, and community managers.
Much work must be done to change the tide, and it can’t be done without a purpose and a community. So today, I’m inviting you to the community.
Since opening Community Builders with Purpose in 2023, I’ve hosted book club meetups that walked readers through Creator to Community Builder. Several fellow community builders showed up, asked questions, shared their ideas, and challenged me to think differently.
In 2024, I am kicking off our events inside the community with a Mini Mastermind Meetup for all community builders who feel that they need a kind “kick in the butt” to clarify their community concept, deep dive into their community strategy, or cultivate connection.
On the third Thursday of every month at 11 a.m. Eastern, I’ll host a mastermind group conversation to chat about community building. A mastermind can be defined in many ways, but I’m keeping it open and less structured for this gathering than in the past.
Over the years, I’ve learned that too much structure doesn’t allow a group to connect or grow. So this meetup will be very casual, offering a prompt for you to contemplate, and if there are enough participants, I’ll offer a breakout room to go deeper with one or two people.
Here’s the caveat – I may change the time or day, depending on the feedback I get, but not until the spring. For the next few months, from now until April, 11 a.m. on Thursdays will be when we will meet. If there is interest in continuing or adjusting the schedule in the spring, that will come later.
Oh, and it’s free. No charge. So click here to join us! Questions or comments can be shared with me via email at Deb@FindCalmHere.com. Happy New Year!
Connect and Collaborate
Mini Mastermind Meetup
Each month, on the third Thursday, the Community Builders with Purpose members can join a free mini version of a mastermind group. I hope that community builders will join, share their community concept, and ask other members questions about what is working for them inside their community.
Email: Deb@FindCalmHere.com
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