You have everything you need to master your money, you just need to see it!
Community Strategy Podcast Host, Deb Schell interviews Emily about how she started out as a money coach and how she helps entrepreneurs break limiting beliefs around money.
Emily has a master’s degree in Family Financial Planning, and experience as a Certified Money Coach (CMC)®. She can help you integrate the practical and emotional worlds of money to help you achieve financial and personal satisfaction.
At the heart of her services is an appreciation for the strength and wisdom that resides in each of us. Emily enjoys working with people to help them discover their own wisdom.
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3:56: Emily explains why going to the root of someone’s money mindset is necessary to address belief barriers around money, diving deeper into the complexities including childhood memories and parental experiences.
4:37: “I’ve realized that in order to change your thoughts about money, it’s not enough simply to think differently; you really need to go to the root of why you have those thoughts, to begin with.”
9:21: Emily gives real client examples of how attachment styles and early experiences with money can shape how individuals feel about money as adults.
17:27: A tip for entrepreneurs is to notice what areas bring resistance and get seek support. The importance of self-compassion and authenticity is key in creating a positive money mindset.
29:17: Lisa shares her comments and thoughts about the money mindset. Callisa asks about the positives to think about when trying to avoid the negative mindset.
38:26: Emily ends by sharing an exercise she loves, writing in a journal as if something has already happened.
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On Wednesday, June 15th at 12 PM Eastern, Join the Find Calm Here Community for a LIVE Interview with Sarah Hines, the Leading while Healing Network host, who will share her community-building journey.
Welcome to the community strategy podcast. I’m your host, Deb Schell on this podcast. I share conversations with leaders of purpose driven, private paid online communities that bring together like minded members for transformation to better their life, career relationships and well being as a community strategist. I help entrepreneurs build launch and grow online page communities on mighty networks and to learn more about working with me. Please visit my website, find calm here dot com, that’s F I N D C A L M H E R E dot com. I help entrepreneurs find calm in the process of launching an online community. So check that out please. I want to ask you, do you have a strategy question that you are struggling with something? A challenge? Uh if you do, I want to start answering some questions uh through uh the podcast, that’s a new thing I want to try.
So please shoot me an email at Deb at find calm here dot com and I will review any questions I get in the next episode, I will add a answer section for any questions that I do get once I get some. So send an email to Deb at fine calm here dot com and I hope you enjoy this episode. Hi all and welcome to the community strategy podcast. I’m super excited today, we have a live interview going, so this is the second time I’ve done a live interview series and I feel like I just came back from an amazing trip in Memphis Tennessee where I learned so much about this being the new wave of how people are connecting because podcasting is one directional right? You can only hear me and then maybe respond, send me an email or something. But this gives them the opportunity for us to have a studio audience. So I’m really excited about this. We’re gonna keep doing it because I feel like it’s been a really great experience so far. And today we’re gonna talk to Emily she is a mindset money mindset coach, I should say.
She’s got a master’s degree in family financial planning experience as a certified money coach and she helps entrepreneurs leaders, community builders. All of the above. Many people help them integrate practical and emotional worlds of money to help you achieve financial and personal satisfaction. I’m gonna leave it there and let Emily dive a little bit deeper. So Emily share with us a little bit more about where you’re calling from and give us some background. Yeah sure. Thanks so much for having me Deb it’s always fun to talk with you So I’m really excited for this conversation. So I’m actually calling in from the Netherlands. I’m from the United States but my husband is dutch and just short of three years ago we came here it was supposed to be for a sabbatical year for one year but we decided to stay. So we live in the Netherlands now although I continue to work with clients mostly in the United States as well as the U. K. And some in europe as well. That’s so exciting. And you you you said you were going there for a trip and then it was right before the pandemic, is that what I understand?
That’s right, yes. That you just decided, I guess I’m saying yeah, you never know where life is going to take you. Especially Yeah, if you’re just open to new adventures. Yeah. So exciting to hear, we love talking about travel with the with a fine comb hair community, because we are, most of us are adventurous souls. Would I say, cool, so let’s let’s dive into money mindset. So tell me how you got to becoming a mindset coach, and I didn’t even know that was a thing a couple of years ago. So it’s exciting to hear that these are like, new careers that people could have. It’s really exciting. So tell me more, yep. So when you first introduced me as a money mindset coach and we were talking about this and you said we were going to talk about money mindset, I did not correct you then, because I want to bring up this point, that phrase is actually something that I don’t really resonate with money mindset, but I want to tell you why, because I think it’s really important, I get, you know, we all have our own interpretations of what that means, but to me when I hear money mindset it sounds mostly like saying affirmations to yourself or, you know, trying to just think differently about money and with the point of that to help you, you know, earn more money and keep the money that you have and grow it.
And in my work with clients, I’ve realized that in order to change your thoughts about money, it’s not enough simply to think differently. You really need to go to the root of why you have those thoughts to begin with. So you might hear the word money mindset, that phrase and think of it as holistically like the work that I do or you might think of it like I do is kind of like separately that almost a little bit more surface. It just change your the words that you say and that will change your actions. But what I do with clients is I work with them to really get to the root of what is underneath all of this complexity that comes in our relationship with money and once you understand where it all comes from, then you can begin to heal that and transform it and reframe it so that your thoughts are really aligned with how you really think and feel? That’s really interesting. Can you dive into like how we find out what that where it becomes, where is the origin of this of this concept?
Where does it start, where do you see it as somebody who’s been working with a lot of people? Yeah, So, so our relationship with money is really complex because it comes from several different areas. So one of them is how our parents thought about money and how they used money. And even if our parents didn’t tell us, even if they didn’t talk about money, which a lot of parents don’t, we learned from them just through through their behavior is what we’re supposed to be doing with money. And we learn what their with their thoughts about it are. And so as Children, we’re very impressionable and what our parents believe. We usually take that on just unconsciously, sometimes we react against it, but even that is an unconscious choice at first until we really examine that we did that consciously. So that’s one our parents money believes in their habits and the second one. And the one that I find is is the deeper root of money issues is actually how we came to see ourselves in the world, how we attached to our parents.
So you might have heard about attachment theory, which is um, you know, the common theory and psychology of how we came to see ourselves in the world is how our parents responded to us. And so if we cried when we were hungry or needed our diaper changed or if we were upset when we were babies and if her parents came right away, um, then we knew that we would get our needs met and we thought, okay, I’m I’m I’m worthy of attention, I’m worthy of this love. You know, the world is a safe place. Someone is here to provide for me. But if our parents were more inconsistent or if they were very distracted, if they were depressed, if they, you know, or a substance user, if all these other things were going on in their lives and they weren’t there for us every time that we needed them to be, then that creates an impression of us that well I can’t get my needs met directly. Maybe. Um, I’m a bit powerless about my situation and that causes um, understandably all of these ways for us to cope as we’re growing up.
So a common one that I see particularly in women and I’ve certainly had this myself is passive aggressive behavior because if you are not able to get your needs met directly, just by asking for what you need and have them met, then you need to find another way in order to do that. And so many of us go through life as this being our default. And that just creates a lot of resentment and frustration. And of course, you know, if you never can ask for what you need or want directly, then chances are you’re not going to get that. And so it just sets us up for not being able to be completely satisfied and receiving all that we need and desire and deserve, mm I hear that it’s surely a lot of people are resonating everybody’s in in our studio audience areas like shaking their heads at something. So we’ve there’s definitely some things that are resonating. Um Yeah, it sounds very challenging, right? These beliefs are set very early on, is what I’m hearing from you that of how we feel or interact with others is really telling us maybe how we see ourselves and value ourselves.
And then how does that connect? Tell me some, tell me more about how that connects to actually either, you know, as a business owner or as just does it start later in life? Or do you see are you working with people that are you know, business owners or are you talking with people that maybe are trying to figure out how to get out of careers that they’re just it’s a it’s a really bad like match, it’s not a mismatch to their skills. Yeah. So both I work with people who have um you know more corporate jobs and I work with people who also have their own businesses. Um So I can give you an example of one woman that I worked with. And so um so let me just clarify, So when I talk about our childhood experiences, so our our relationship with our caregivers is very important and also our early personal experiences with money is also really important and it also shapes how we think about money. So this case is really good because um because I can show you how both of these things worked. So when this client came to me, she had her own business and she had a hard time charging for what she was worth.
She felt just kind of sick to her stomach every time she had to do a proposal for someone. And particularly if the price was pretty high, she would anticipate what their reaction would be and get really nervous that they would react negatively. And so when we looked at her money biography, so when I work with people, the first thing that they do is they fill out of money biography listing all of their money memories and their emotions associated with them. So we go through them and help them understand and point out the patterns of the origins in there. And it’s a very intense but very effective exercise. So what I noticed in her money biography, her first two money memories were about asking for a gift and being yelled at by her mother for asking for it. So when she was five, her birthday was coming up and she asked her friend for a birthday present because you know, she’s five years old and this is what she’s seen of the world when someone has a birthday, I give them a birthday present.
So it’s my birthday, I’m going to get a present but her mother overheard this and scolded her and said, no, we don’t ask for things, you know if someone wants to give us something that’s up to them, but you never never asked for something. And and she wrote in her auto in her biography, I still feel ashamed to this day about this incident. So you know that this is a really real visceral feeling for her. And then unfortunately within a few months her aunt was going away on vacation and she asked her to bring her back a souvenir and again her mother yell at her, no, we don’t do this. And this is exactly how these um, I call these snapshot memories of, it’s an event that we had that just Sears into our brain. Our subconscious really takes hold of that and forms a pattern of thought to make sure and uh, and an automatic behavior to make sure that we don’t do this again to keep ourselves safe. So for her asking for something meant disrupting her relationships with people. You know, people wouldn’t like her, they would think she was mean, they would think she was selfish.
So she created this unconsciously, this automatic pattern of behavior where she didn’t ask for anything directly at the same time growing up, her mother was a school teacher and she was just very easily overwhelmed and particularly during the school year. So she and her brother grew up with the understanding that there was, there were certain times of the year where you just couldn’t go to mom for a problem. So you just had to kind of figure it out yourself. And so that also reinforces this belief of why can’t I can’t get my needs met directly, I have to figure it out for myself or I have to use some other means in order to get it. Like it’s not me having a want or need is not enough, you know, it’s it’s not enough to make sure that it’s being met. And so these two things really carry forward in her ability to charge what she was worth with her clients. And also, of course in her relationships with others and after our work together, she said um the thing that really shifted the most for her was her relationship with her husband because they were both able to understand this dynamic of the the passive aggression and they were able to communicate much more clearly and directly with one another.
Wow, there is so much you said there that I resonated with. Amazing just to this, just to go back and pull out some things there, you said uh client proposals. I have been the professional proposal writer for the last year and a half when I started my consulting business and I finally streamlined it, but I’ve had those exact moments of of sending out a proposal and just being like uh you know, I’ve told them and the person said like, you know, I don’t, I asked them about a budget and they’re like, well we don’t know, you know, you tell us what it’s gonna cost. So I send it over and then like crickets and I’m like, that’s great. So I can totally relate to something like that. But also just the, the sense of not feeling like you can ask for, especially that comes into sales because you’ve got to ask for the sale when you’re, when you’re a business owner, you’ve got to ask for the sales. So I think it’s great. What are the, so what are the specific strategies that you helped her implement to like start asking, you know, or charging which he’s worth or changing the strategy that she was doing?
Yeah. So just understanding where this is all coming from is the biggest shift because of course she has taken lots of sales and marketing training. You know, like she knows how to talk to clay and she knows how to ask for the sale. It was just a matter of this resistance, this subconscious resistance that kept coming up. But now when she understood where exactly this came from when we were able to talk about it and she was able to um, feel that emotion again and at the same time reframe it, understand, oh, that made complete sense when I was five years old when I was six years old. But now this doesn’t make any sense anymore. I understand now, you know, what is appropriate for birthday etiquette and how that’s different from asking my client, you know, to pay me what I’m worth and I’ve earned it. You know, I have all of this experience. I have accolades. I have referrals, people like to work with me. And so once you understand the origin and you’re able to reframe it, then everything else falls into place.
Mm hmm. Yeah. Because at first we always think it’s about the skills, right? And so we go for training after training after training. I think with women for sure. I think what I’ve found and what seems to resonate with a lot of women that I talked with and my own experience, I’ve had to prove. I’ve had to prove myself. And not only prove, but like I’ve done multiple things that give me credit to get this job or get this client, I have the testimonials, I have the experience. Whereas sometimes men, they just, they get hired from just walking in and being really persuasive and then being, you know, I’m gonna say it, they just, they’re like hired on their ability to just perceive things like, oh well you’ve got potential. So we’re gonna hire you and women just do, I’m gonna say it. Women don’t get hired on potential. They get hired on experience and physically showing improving their value. And that’s a very true life thing I think, but I wanted to see what your take is on if there’s any thoughts around that or well why that is, if you know it, I do believe.
No, I completely um yeah, I’m not sure how much I have to expand on that. I don’t want to like pick out the men like that, That’s not what I’m trying to do, but I’m just trying to say to relate to women in the sense of you’re not alone in the feeling of feeling like I have to prove myself all the time, because a lot of other women are feeling the same way and it’s exhausting sometimes. So if you’re feeling that way, if you’re listening and you’re feeling that way as a woman, you’re not alone, that’s where I was trying to get with it. Absolutely, yeah, cool. So I wanna open up the floor, if anybody’s got questions, I’ll let you guys put some stuff in the chat. I want to expand for Emily though, on a few tips that you have for new business owners, how they can kind of is there any way they can start to try to practice um changing their mindset around this. If they’re feeling like they resonate with some of these challenges in the sense of that new business and or even somebody like probably in our group here are people that are listening, they’re launching products or services all the time.
So in the sense of community building, we want to charge. I talk a lot about having paid online communities and the value of that and how that when people pay for something they show up and they participate and they join in. And so I wondered what your thoughts were, as far as like talking to that audience of people whose either doing a bit an online business or bringing people together in a paid online community. And maybe they have some of these, I don’t know if he can charge for membership or something. What would you maybe say to those people? Yeah, I would say that the best thing that you can do to start is simply to start to recognize your patterns of behavior and also resistance. So whether it’s um, the amount that you charge, whether it’s not feeling confident in putting out your work and becoming visible, whether it’s, you know, procrastinating on posting whatever it is, you notice when you feel that resistance, what particular area do you feel that in? Um and then when you do try to be still and sit with yourself, um so I can give you an example the first time that I did marketing myself for my company, I had this paid program and I went through it and then it was time to tell everyone about it.
Of what I was offering this free webinar wasn’t even, you know, I wasn’t even charging for it. And I felt such resistance when I went to spread that information when I went to post it on all the social media. And so when I sat with that, I realized at first I thought it was this old family story of um, on my mother’s side. Her her father was in business with a cousin and the cousin cheated him. And so my mother’s family stayed poor while this cousin became very rich. So I thought, oh my gosh, I didn’t even realize I had this uh subconsciously in my head of, you know, there’s something wrong with being rich and wealthy and I thought that was it. But as I sat with it more, I realized, no, it really goes deeper than that. And it was actually the thought that came to me when I sat with it was I don’t want to bother people. And where did that come from? If I thought about that, that goes back all the way to childhood. Um, you know, when I was growing up, my mother was very distracted and had a lot going on in her life.
And so I felt often like I was a bother. So you really just need to understand, first of all, recognizing those patterns, recognizing those points of resistance and then trying to understand what’s behind that. And if you’re able to do that yourself, that’s great if you most of us need to work with another person in order to do that. So that could be a therapist, it could be a behavioral money coach. Um, and you know, there’s a difference between those two, I feel like my work is it’s on a continuum of, of healing and I’m very good at helping people identify the origins and through conversations and through exercises were often able to shift some of that. But it doesn’t go very deep. So often it’s the opportunity to to point out where you need for their help and then to work with the therapist afterwards. So most of my clients have actually been in therapy before they come to see me. So they have that um the start of that self awareness to begin with.
And so sometimes they go to therapy afterwards if they come up with an issue that they need to further work on or sometimes working together is enough to understand that. So, So number one resistance. So look at the resistance and number two I would say, especially as a business owner. I think it’s so I found this myself as well. It’s so easy to think that it’s a skill or strategy that we need. So if you find yourself going from, you know, sales class to sales class and thinking, oh, there’s just something wrong with that method. Let me try this one. Let me try this one. So you’re just kind of hopping around and nothing is working for you, then that’s another sign that there’s probably something deeper that needs to be resolved. Mm hmm. I love that. That it’s multifaceted and it’s not just like one thing and it’s not, it’s not a fault. It’s just, it’s not, there’s something I feel like there might be, I’m feeling a little bit of like ah you know, like I have to fix something or change mindset and I think it’s it’s okay, whatever journey I’ve had is my journey, and so I’m kind of resonating with what you’re saying as far as there’s things that I’m becoming self aware about as I get older and learn more things and I think part of that is just learning the right way to approach business, right?
Um I was in a webinar workshop that was like a long workshop for podcasters yesterday and it was all about, there was a lot of conversations about how do you monetize a podcast and all of the speakers, I can tell you consistently said they didn’t talk about advertising, they didn’t talk about getting sponsors. What they talked about was building a relationship, What they talked about was being authentic and not being sales e to the point of where you’re pushing it on people and then that’s where it comes in of like, I don’t want to bother people because I think that’s what people are used to in the, in the experience on the other side. If they’re not, if they’re on the experience of people pushing them, they’re like, well I don’t want to be like that and I’ve even gotten emails from people that said, I’m sorry to bother you and then they go into something and I’m like, don’t send the email because if you think you’re bothering me, you’re not bothering me or else I would unsubscribe, like that’s kind of how it goes. But you know, just talking about this concept of, It’s really about relationship building authentically and I as being somebody who just turned 42, I had years of experience in journalism, I’m used to building relationships, but a lot of the, I don’t wanna say kids, but a lot of the younger generation maybe they’ve been so accessible to all of these tools and it’s so easy to just put drop into people’s direct messages and and just go in there and say, hey, and basically this workshop yesterday was talking about, do not do that build a relationship with people, correct?
Give them value, but then don’t give everything away, just give the value so that they then ask you, well, how can you help me? And that’s where then when they asked, that’s when you can say something. So I thought that was a really great takeaway that I learned yesterday, um which is something I’ve been doing for a long time. But I think that there’s some mixed mixed signals out there of what, what is traditionally done in business or how people sell, right? And it’s gone through these stages of like sales pages and how they’re set up and designed to sell to people and I think that the best way I don’t know from my experience is just to be authentic and say here’s what I have a business coach or have somebody helping you, that you can get some kind of conversation around and that’s why I think collaboration is so great right community is great because you can have these open conversations in this private community, especially like in our community, in the Fine come here community and other communities.
I have a group of consultants that do similar work that I do and we collaborate, we talked about our services, we talked about our praising and we talk about our offers in an open environment where we know that we’re not competing. So I feel like the big theme that I’m experiencing and then I hope we shift to in this world is less competition and more collaboration. So I think that you’re your method of talking about getting out there and getting in front of this concept around what’s going on the back end can then be helping people to step out into their authentic self in a much better way, because they’ve gotten a little bit more self aware about those resistant feelings like you said. Absolutely, absolutely. How is it possible to build an authentic relationship when you don’t have an authentic relationship with yourself when you’re unsure of what your own core values are, when you’re unsure about your own beliefs if you are very highly critical of yourself and other people, how on Earth can you collaborate with them.
So this is all really important for us to understand and to be aware of the patterns that we have formed and try as hard as it is not to judge ourselves for that. I mean that I think that’s the most valuable thing that I bring to my clients I think is not even helping them change their relationship with money, but really helping them feel better about themselves because we just are able to get rid of that shame and have so much more self compassion come in. That’s a big deal self compassion being I am like and when you talked earlier about um doing things myself, I’m the queen of doing a lot of things myself and not asking for help. I have been that person for quite a long time and it’s only been in the last year that I really accepted the fact that I needed help in certain areas of my life and had to ask people, can you help me? And that is so called, that is probably the most common characteristic I’ve seen my clients is the sense of um, fierce independence and needing to do things on their own, but also at the same time feeling a bit helpless about that, like their screw up or they can’t do it all themselves.
And that comes directly to not getting the age appropriate support that they needed growing up of having too much responsibility too soon without a helping hand to guide them. And it is so um insidious. It’s like a second skin that we can’t even see until until we do until it’s brought to our attention just yes, we burned out and like literally are laying on the floor being like, what am I doing? Yes. And feeling so badly about ourselves and thinking what’s wrong with me? Why can’t I just do this? I should be able to do this. Yeah. Or I’ve, I felt like I’ve done so much, but I didn’t know to the extent when I explained to people all the things that I’ve done um in the last, for example, two years, they’re like, how did you, did you have a team of people? Like, nope, it was just pretty much me. And then we brought calista on last year and that’s been really amazing to like open up and be able to work with one other person. But yeah, just letting that, letting the grip go a little bit because I was basically like burnt out.
That’s pretty much what happened for me. Yeah. Does anybody have questions for Emily? I’m curious about if anybody else is resonating or if you wanted to share a story um or thoughts or takeaways like, did you lisa that you’re not in your head. So I’m gonna call you out and see if you had a question or a comment. Thanks Deb. Um I don’t know that I have a question, I was trying to kind of think, but I definitely I’m resonating with what Emily is saying. And it’s interesting to I’ve been doing some work working through some stuff that from childhood that I didn’t think affected me until it comes up and then it’s like, oh that’s why I react like that, or that’s why I do these things. Um So yeah, and I just think, I don’t know, I just think having a safe community money is one of those subjects that, you know, at times we’re told it’s kind of taboo to talk about, but it’s definitely something we need to talk about and understand and um use it as a tool and not be be afraid of it I guess.
Um Yeah, thank you. Thank you for saying that lisa and I agree you mentioned a safe space and and money being a taboo. And I think most of us we hear and we think that that people don’t like to talk about money, that they’re uncomfortable talking about it. But in my experience, people once they have a safe space, they really actually like to talk about it and like to hear that other people are experiencing similar things to them. It’s just that we don’t often have a safe space in order to do that. I didn’t realize I should I should do more webinars. That’s why community is so amazing, right? That’s what community offers this safe space to talk about these challenges, these thoughts, these feelings that everything absolutely everything comes from talent. Everybody, everything comes back to building relationships and communities. It’s like it’s true. It’s so true. Uh callouses raising her hands so we’ll pop over to Alyssa. Yeah, I have to say I as just starting my business and getting used to having to um price my services.
So I definitely resonated with everything that you’re saying. Um I think it’s really easy to get caught up in kind of the negatives of worried about a lack of money. Um anxiousness about if I’m charging too much. Do you have any positives or positive ways to phrase it? To kind of start changing that mindset? Like kind of what we’re trying to get to. Yeah, as much as you can. Yeah, you really hit the nail on the head with, it’s so easy to get stuck in this negativity and when we do, when we’re stuck in negative emotions, it just, you can like almost literally see it shrinking or container for receiving, right? So container receiving money abundance, love compliments respect anything. Um so the more we can do to stay in that positive area the better. So this is this is an area where you know positive thinking is a good thing. Um and it can really help in the short term as well if you find yourself in a in a particularly negative space, actively changing your thinking to get you through a specific period of time is incredibly helpful.
And then also, um, having a regular practice for example, keeping a gratitude journal or whatever speaks to you of some way of recognizing the positivity in your life, the positive changes that you’re making. You know, just keeping track of all that you’re able to do over the course of the day, big or small, you know, um, I have a younger child who is uh, sometimes grumpy and if, if I’m able to get him out of that by making a funny face and having him laugh and break out of that and being able to carry on with the task, you know, that lights me up and I think, wow, that, that, that’s just a source of power that I just proved, you know, and it’s just in that very small instance, but I can carry that through the rest of my day when I’m feeling inflation, everything is so overwhelming. I’m losing purchasing power. I can’t, you know, this vacation is too expensive. We can’t afford it.
Um, to remind yourself at any point throughout the day of the times that you’re using your personal power that you’re influencing a situation for the better. So anything that you can do to, to shift that thinking to the more positive is going to give you more strength throughout the day and open that container for receiving. Thank you. It’s so amazingly true because I’ll tell you in the last year, I’ve been building this consulting business and it was kind of like trying to get off the ground, trying to get off the ground and in the time when I really needed it to work like it was like it’s either gonna happen or I gotta go to work at walmart or something like I was in those moments of really being afraid um but I just kept saying, I have tried, I have done so much work, I have worked so hard to get this business off the ground. The last thing I want to do is go try to work for someone else at this point because I’ve experienced entrepreneurial ship but I’m like I don’t want to go back like I don’t want to turn back and and once I said it’s gonna work out thing, I got a bug, I was in um target, I talked to people about this before I was in target like right around the same time that I was back in like november when my life just felt like it was going in chaos and I found this bug, it was like 99 cents a target that said things will work out and I got that bug and then drank from it every single day and kept saying it like things will work out like and then I got a client and then I got another client and then I got another client and then I got another client and it was amazing, I just in the past in the last quarter of the year, I quadrupled my revenue from the entire year and it was because I believe it was because I shifted my mindset instead instead of asking people, I said, this is my value, this is what I’m worth.
And people said, of course you are, I’m happy to pay you that. Like, that’s great. Deb, here’s, here’s my credit card, let’s go. And it was such a different experience than coming from a year before of being like, how much do I charge? Can I ask people for $100? Can I ask people for this or that? Do people want to come and pay this money? Um, and questioning myself so much versus just saying, and it’s because of values is because of beliefs and just knowing now actually I am x I can do this and I can help other people and I know I can because I’ve done it. So I love um there’s a lot of positivity, there’s, there’s realistically looking at the past identifying those like barriers. I think what you’re talking about and then like visualizing, I think for me is a big part of making it happen is like you’ve got to put yourself in the future of saying, I’m already, I’m already a successful entrepreneur, it’s already gonna happen.
Like we already know that that’s going to happen and that mindset I think is a big deal as far as shifting from somebody who is making barely, you know, barely surviving to somebody who is in abundance mood and and wants to give back because at the end of the day, a lot of us actually aren’t trying to make a lot of money, right? It’s more about, we just want to make enough money to take care of our family to pay our bills and maybe to do a couple of extra things that we love like travel or whatever your fun thing is and then give back a lot of people just want to end up giving back to everyone else. And I found my, my experience with money has been, I did a lot of work up front and gave a lot away. Give a lot away and then realized, okay, I need to back up and say, all right, I can give some things out for free. You know, social media, that’s the free place, that’s where we go to post things to tell people about who we are and what we do right? Kind of promoting ourselves in that aspect. But then inside the community, I’m doing the real work with people and I think that’s valuable and that’s why I charge for my community and that’s why I recommend other clients to charge for their community because if you put it all out there on social media, that’s time and money that you either have to pay somebody to do that or you’re spending a lot of time doing all of that in your own versus um you know, giving some some tips of saying, hey, here’s some value.
But then if you really want to work with me, come in here because you’re going to really transform your life when working inside an online community and investing in that. So those are my thoughts Cathy just joined us Emily. Let me pop back over to you. Did you have any final thoughts or telling anything that I didn’t ask? We didn’t talk about that you wanted to share. Um I think that the, the example that you just gave is so good. I just wanted to give one other exercise that is really powerful. You were just talking about, you were just talking about projecting into the future and visualizing to the future and that is so incredibly powerful, particularly when we pair that with doing the work to understand what where the origins are In our behaviors. So one exercise that I love is writing in a journal is if something has already happened, like I cannot believe that I’ve sold 20 spots in this $5,000 program and it was so easy and just go on and on and on. It is amazing how much that shifts your energy and it really creates change.
Beautiful. That’s a great example. Yeah, I haven’t done that for a while. I feel like it’s time for me to do that again, I did it like a year ago, but I think it’s time for me to do similar of the visualization. I haven’t done a vision board in a while. Do you like vision boards? I think we talked about it. Vision boards are a fun way. She’s got lisa’s pointing sorry for listeners, but lisa’s pointing to her vision board that’s right behind her lisa, How’s your vision, is it for the year? Let me ask, is it for the year or is it for your business? Is it focused or it is for the year? And it’s both personal and business. So, um, how’s it going? How is it going now that it’s, you can ask how is your vision coming out? Good. I last year was kind of the first year I had done a vision board and Deb you were a big influence on me doing that because you talked about him all the time at different events we were at together and um, yeah, so I did one last year and part of it was to travel and take a family trip and that came to be and you know, there were some other things that, you know, launching this program didn’t quite happen, but it’s happening this year, it’s on the vision board again and it’s it’s happening, it’s getting kicked out there.
Um, yes, I like having that where I’m looking at it every day and then I also do one on my computer screen as that comes up and then I look at it every day too? So um yeah, I I think it’s I think it’s great and if nothing else when when I have to step on there, like I’m looking at one on this other screen and it’s like oh yeah we want to do a family camping trip this summer and I’m I’m looking at the little RV picture on there and it’s like it gets you excited and so then you’re like okay, I’m gonna work hard so that I can take the family trip right? So I don’t know, it’s fun. Yeah, that’s exciting. Um Thanks for sharing that. Um Does anybody else? I know Denise was kind of eating her breakfast earlier, but if you wanted to pop on and ask any questions, you just pop them in the chat. We’ve got about five few more minutes, 45 minutes here to hang out. If anybody else wanted to ask anything, Kathie in the chat says I did a vision board last year and have it as my screen background.
That’s a cool idea. I like that to my, my computer keeps updating so it doesn’t, it like doesn’t stay for some reason and I’m like how do I make it stay, it needs to be sticky. I need to have it like, so I have a vision board by my bed and I need another one like right here, they have a window right here, so it’s okay? I see something with Denise and Kathy I saw Hi Kathy, did you want to just enjoyed listening Ok and Cathy um if you have any questions you can pop them on. I know you came in a little bit late but I know where he is there. I think we’ll wrap up then. That’s okay. That’s okay. Um No worries. Denise, your camera’s not working. I think it was a really great conversation though. Um lots to take away this episode is like I said, going to be on the community strategy podcast. We’re going to start doing these live episodes when I tried to at least one or two a month. Uh so please shoot me an email. If you’re not in the Fine come here community. Uh shoot me an email debit. Fine come here dot com. So that way you can get the next live call link and on the Fine come here website.
I have it posted in the blog area on the upcoming live uh interviews that we’ve got coming up. Kathy is going to be leading our next one and that’s going to be next week. She’s going to talk about the book club that she is uh leading inside her money network and excited to talk with Kathy about that and Emily tell everybody if they wanted to learn more about you or where they can find you let let us know. Yes. So you can go to my website, me myself and money dot com, That’s the name of my business. Me myself and money and I have a hot off the press. Uh Freebie of seven common habits that could indicate a money block and they’re not what you think. So actually passive aggression is one of them that we talked about here. So it’s all common habits, not necessarily money related. Um but they could indicate that you have a money block. Um I don’t have a link for that yet because I just created it literally right before hopping on. But if you send me an email, I’ll send it to you.
It’s Emily at me, myself and money dot com. Nice. And when you if you send it to me, I’ll get it up on the show notes when we put those up for this episode. For sure. Thank you so much and thanks everybody for coming. I’m so glad. I love this like, live audience experience. I think it really fills in so many things that maybe some audience members are thinking about. And if you’re listening to this and you’re like, wow, I want to ask a question, send me an email debit, find calm here dot com because I’m also taking questions via email that I will work on answering during a Q and a section that I’m going to add to the podcast. So so much. Good stuff here for everybody who’s listening. I hope you continue to subscribe, share this with anybody you think it might resonate with or be helpful for? Let me know what I can do for you Until next time. I hope you’re finding calm. Take care. Have a great day. Mhm.